sos 🛟 what to do when you are stuck
some general troubleshooting to get you back into your flow
the enemies to lovers plot line (my pattern is my gift)
the last two years I’ve really made a concerted effort to unpack my baggage and figure out my patterns, instead of attempting to physically distance myself from them as outlined in the video example below:
“Remember, you are still going to be you on vacation” - one of my favorite sketches of all time because of the truth it contains. We cannot outrun our ourselves no matter how much we try.
Projectors are meant to master a system throughout their time earth-side and if all is going well, that system mastery over a specific niche will benefit the people that opt into that projector’s guidance.
my torturer became my remedy (yes this is a Beyonce lyric)
it is somehow always the thing we’re running from that is our gift, isn’t it? I run from the shame, now I write about it on a semi-weekly basis. I tried to bury my church girly days and now I recognize how that built my foundation for energy work, self-compassion and faith in myself. there’s that saying in shadow work, what you don’t own, owns you and the further you try to run, the more you are just there with you oozing out at the seams, begging to be seen by YOU
As I’ve been working through my own blocks and confronting my shame
it has become hilariously and glaringly obvious that all my time spent in the not-self and constantly finding myself in the wrong environments was actually a training ground for my very specific projector niche set of skills that I am now calling holographic location services (I will find you in time and space so that you can unstick yourself)
I’ve carried a lot of shame around for constantly finding myself in the wrong spaces but now I see that this has not been for naught!!!! (everything is data and experience, learning and wisdom - if you have a 3 or a 6 in your profile, this applies DOUBLE)
You do not have to fear bottoming out !!
Being stuck is a part of life and will happen continually as a part of the growth lifecycle so don’t resist it.
resisting your reality slows you down significantly.
Admitting you are stuck is powerful! And WHEN you find yourself stalled out AGAIN, know this - you are not bad or broken if you are stuck !!!
I REPEAT, YOU ARE NOT BAD OR BROKEN IF YOU ARE STUCK. This is a major misconception !
letting it all fall away
essentially every single time I open TikTok, I am immediately greeted by a clip of who I assume is Alan Watts (or Alan Watts adjacent) doing a little speech on letting go of what’s letting go of you it’s a good time to put some stuff down. as we close out the season of the crab (cancer season) let’s consider the journey of the hermit (crab).
^^ I was on an astrology call recently that said we’re collectively between shells because of Pluto, btw ^^
HOLOGRAPHIC LOCATION SERVICES: FINDING YOU IN TIME AND SPACE!
To get unstuck, first you’ve got to admit you are stuck, or lost, or bored, or whatever flavor of rut or rock bottom you are facing.
DENIAL WILL GET YOU NOWHERE. Again, I repeat resisting your reality grounds your plane for a lot longer than needed (I have a LOT OF EXPERIENCE IN DENIAL OF MY CURRENT REALITY)
Instead of denying where you are - let’s pick apart how to get you back on the road again, because the mechanics of getting unstuck boil down to two essential elements:
1. YOU ARE NOT IN THE BODY
2. YOU ARE NOT PRESENT
THIS IS AN EITHER OR AND BOTH SITUATION
As a former math teacher, I was like oooh can we work this formula both ways to make sure it’s sound and yes, it works - so the reverse is also true
to be in alignment there are two essential elements:
1. be in your body
2. be in the present moment
The body is the best place to start
NOT IN THE BODY // IN THE BODY
If you want to be effective and efficient in your alignment and your troubleshooting - start here because this is your command center. Everything (the present moment, your intuition, your messages, divine guidance) ALL OF IT routes through the body
Are you listening to your body’s messages and denying them or are you not getting your body’s messages at all?
If you are numb to what your body is telling you and you *want* to get unstuck MORE THAN CONTINUING TO SUPPRESS YOUR BODY - here is your starting point - you’ve got to start slowing down and listening to your body’s clues and messages.
gentle movement, somatics, breath work, massage, energy work - these are all great tools to get you landed back in your body if you are not connected to what’s happening
What if I’m hearing these messages, but I’m not following thru…
NOT IN THE PRESENT MOMENT // IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
If you are getting your body’s messages and forwarding them to voicemail, then you are not in the present moment and it’s time to start listening. You are distracted by the future or the past and neither is going to get you where you want to go.
Broad strokes here but, if you are flowing your energy to the past (via shame/blame) or future (via anxiety/fear) you are not available to put your energy where it is most potent which is the here and now (present moment)
So if you are struggling to get present - especially for my fellow perfectionist friends out there - there’s one amazing tool we can use freely to start smashing our way out of stickiness and into our flow and that is - CHOICE
The Quick & Dirty Method to getting unstuck is Choice
if you are stuck because you are afraid to make the wrong choice:
starting point: choice as blunt object (sledge hammer) - just start making choices to breaking out of your paralysis
you get out of the analysis paralysis by making a choice - I see this more often in my 1:1 practice because there’s fear that you aren’t really tapped into your intuition - but if you are stuck, you just gotta get moving again and once you get that momentum up and running then you can refine (ie: choice as tool, like a scalpel)
CHOICES AND SPIRAL TIME
The cycles of violence we experience and witness is beyond what we can bear and yet, here we are, choosing to create and find love within despite the larger backdrop.
if shame Is your enemy (my fav topic, lol)
choice can be an incredible anti-dote to shame as making choices can begin to desensitize you to your fear of self-judgement. If you are going to judge yourself for your choices no matter what, you might as well do something and not just live in perfectionist paralysis! (Choice as sledgehammer)
Choice as the sensible logical practical thing
next level: Choice as tool and instrument - you can really be as precise as you want to be here
Once you’ve gotten yourself moving because you are making choices - allow yourself to collect data (this can also help the paralysis, you are just collecting data!! no need to indict yourself for your choices yet!!)
Choice as part of the growth cycle
Now that you have data, you can make another choice BUILT OFF OF YOUR PREVIOUS CHOICES AND INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THAT CHOICE POINT!!
Expectations + Pivots
sometimes you choose a choice and you are like wow, that didn’t go as expected and actually I do not want this thing that I thought I wanted and actually it’s kind of terrible. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KEEP COMMITTING TO THAT CHOICE. I’ve struggled a lot with this part of the process. Letting go of something we’ve worked hard for or held on a pedestal can be really difficult (for me at least) and reminding myself that pivoting and gathering information and choosing again from a new set of information is honestly all we can do. We don’t have to carry shame that something turned out differently than we expected - Allow yourself the space to pivot and choose again.
If you want help navigating or locating yourself - I’d love to work with you - my books are open for August + beyond - book here
When I am feeling stuck - I’m a big proponent of breath work - I just took a class in Ojai this weekend led by Rachel Blume - if you are in the LA or central coast area - I highly recommend her workshops - simply transformational !!
as always - thank you for being here and supporting my work
xx, j. thom gage
What wonderful post, thank you, J!
another great post. just keep personally attacking me i guess