breaking apart the concept of conditioning
what we're talking about when we're talking about conditioning
Conditioning is probably the most sticky part of Human Design - I’m constantly thinking about it -because when we’re mired in our conditioning, we lose connection to ourselves, our voice, our truth. When we can clear the gunk of conditioning, we can see that what we’re supposed to do is be in touch with this one thing - what matters to you?
Conditioning is another way of what forces or limiting beliefs are getting in between you + your own personal projects and missions?
Why do we care about conditioning?
Conditioning - the forces that have the capability to break down or overwhelm our natural energies.
Conditioning is another name for the forces that trick us into thinking that our voice only matters if it’s like someone else’s.
The forces that make us believe that we must be the same in order to be safe, instead of vibrantly different.
An eco-system requires and thrives with diversity. Conditioning challenges that vibrancy.
It is not shameful, it is not personal EVEN though it feels deeply personal. When we can identify these forces - we put ourselves on the path to knowing ourselves on a deeper level. Identifying conditioning facilitates and upgraded conscious awareness (a clearer POV)
THE POINT OF SEEING MY CONDITIONING IS SO THAT I AM AWARE OF THE LIFE I AM LIVING VERSUS THE LIFE I DESIRE TO LIVE
In Human Design, conditioning isn’t explicitly read through the chart, but instead is what you glean from learning what is you versus what is not you (v Spiderman meme)
I think about this concept frequently because I’m a pretty intense dreamer (Inner Vision, 6th line being, defined crown, channel 61-24… I could go on…) and it’s easy for me to live exclusively in my visions and forget that I have to take action on the physical plane.
LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS - JOHN LENNON
(…is this actually from John Lennon or did we attribute this to him?)
When I began my human design experiment - I was like, “cinnamon and gravy!1 this is the missing piece for me!”
Human Design provides a framework to pinpoint where conditioning (limiting beliefs) get stuck in our energy field/body.
We can get a good idea of what might cram itself into our aura space from paying attention to the not self themes.
Conditioning creates interference and noise that wedges itself into our field, masquerading itself as our energy. This is why it’s called the not self- it is literally not our energy. It is borrowed from the field, but it is not organically ours.
What I love about Human Design - our chart is a map back to ourselves
Our Human Design chart, if used respectfully, can be an incredible tool to release our limited POV and expand into our individual frequencies.
We’re not meant to be the same. Each of us is part of the divine with a unique expression we can choose to birth into the world.
We’re born into a society that is very prescriptive and oppressive; we’re taught to fit in for safety and make practical choices based on what has worked in the past.
In the world of energy mechanics - Human Design (or any path of awareness/consciousness building) is both bolstering and confronting:
YES! Your instincts are right and you do carry divinity within you! You do have your own path and purpose!
AND
YIKES! I HAVE A LOT OF WEEDING TO DO IN MY MIND GARDEN AND OMG I AM BURIED UNDER THIS DELUGE OF NEW UNDERSTANDING AND WHERE DO I BEGIN…
Becoming aware of ourselves tends to be awkward
Even in mythology - Adam and Eve felt some type of way after awakening to the greater world!! and like Eve - once we’ve seen something we can’t unsee - the instinct is definitely AHHHHH, HIDE!!!
Staying in our conditioning because we’re overwhelmed by the understanding there’s a gap between who we are now and who we want to be -- THIS IS PERFORMING LIFE
I’m defining performing life as acting out of habit or obligation for fear that if you were to live your desires you would be punished.
While it is scary to come out of hiding and live vulnerably by your desires - it is ultimately the fulfilling path - WE WANT TO MOVE OUT OF LIFE AS PERFORMANCE AND INTO LIFE AS EXPERIENCE!
This is the tough part - because the overarching messages we receive from media are to conform! We’re taught to perform life, we’re taught to stuff down our emotions, we’re taught to disconnect and override our own needs and bodies.
If the secondary gain of not dealing with your conditioning is perceived safety - it makes sense why so many people continue to live unexamined lives.
What if I am performing life because I am a conscientious objector to society?
First, ask yourself am I Gen X or Gen X adjacent? Dropping out can feel like a viable option and perhaps is - but we want to drop out by unsubscribing to harmful norms, not drop out of our bodies.
Performing life from a place of awareness that your life is a farce is opting out of your body which is typically a dead end (I know because I’ve tried it for many years!)
Performing life as a cover to your vulnerable little heart and thinking that anyone else actually cares to the extent that you do is most likely flawed thinking (another thing I’ve tried)
But - let’s acknowledge the oppressive, excessively violent culture we live in - IT MAKES SENSE that we’d build walls around the walls. Creating a rich inner life that doesn’t get outwardly expressed does seem like the best option when you wake up and you feel wedged between a rock and a hard place.
While this may feel depressing (it felt extremely depressing for me!!) this is a critical step towards aligning with our energy.
Hiding may provide a modicum of safety (the illusion of safety) but it will not provide peace, satisfaction, success, or delight.
TL;DR: We can get stuck living in our conditioning when it feels safer to perform than act in our authenticity. We begin to dissolve this with forgiveness and compassion.
Becoming aware of our operating system (conditioning, behaviors, learned behaviors) is typically painful - but an important part of moving into our correct path and lane.
Performing life occurs when we falsely believe that our only option is abandoning our desires and seeking external safety (i.e. validation).
We’re afraid to rock the boat, we’re afraid to look into the void. We’d rather go back to a numb state. All of this is normal and natural because we have a pretty fucked up society!
If you are trapped in feeling that it’s better to serve your relationships and keep the peace than live your life - do the artist's way and find a good therapist
If you are the gen x farce fan - read existential kink
We’re all on this trip together + separately - what have you been discovering lately? What part of Human Design keeps you up at night - or is that just me!
this is from a cut for time skit from SNL that was included on the dvd of Best of Will Ferrell which I watched obsessively when I was in college.