I recorded a 12 min audio about some of my most recent insights and went into full transmission mode -
this is a pretty frank talk about trauma and acknowledging the reality of how it affects our POV which shapes our reality and experience
If you’d prefer to read the message - I’ve edited the transcript for clarity + ease
There are infinite ways of moving through your limiting beliefs:
Limiting beliefs, you can say are due to trauma, or you can choose to view it more neutrally if that's easier for you. I’ve been thinking about this a lot - if you're having a hard time accepting that something bad happened to you that formed a limited belief (simplistic view) you aren’t going to be able to clear that block or hurdle. A lot of people aren't able to move past their point of view because they're actually unwilling to look at limiting beliefs (or face what formed their limiting beliefs). And this harms us on a personal and collective level.
The more that you are able to look at what's going on in your life by starting with yourself, holy smokes, that move the needle and the effects ripple outward.
So many people are out there talking about how to heal yourself, but what I am explicitly talking about is the process of pulling your energetic body back into union with your physical body and reuniting it with your spirit. This is the first step before we can manifest or work from a place of true agency.
We need all three things to be working correctly if you want to manifest and be present and be here now. We want those three things to be in union. Our body, mind, spirit, soul, all of these elements get disconnected for a variety of reasons. And we can get stuck at this level of, if I acknowledge this, then someone might think I'm blaming them. If I acknowledge the limitation of my family, my school, my church, if I acknowledge that limitation, then I'm blaming them. No, that's not a helpful binary to think in. Perfectionists tend to get stuck here, internalizing the hurt and holding themselves responsible for circumstances well beyond their control or comprehension.
If you're stuck at this stage, afraid to move into looking at what “caused” the block or limiting belief -
fear that thinking that will hurt that person, that's fear of acknowledging what happened to you is blocking you from healing that in yourself.
(If you’ve experienced any form of abuse- this is an easy place to get stuck)
Sometimes we do have to acknowledge someone else's humanity and maybe even their mistakes to move forward in our own healing because guess what, we are all people that have broken point of views from time to time.
It can be helpful perhaps if you are unwilling to see how someone else could have impacted you - to consider the POSSIBILITY that someone could have caused you harm.
Someone may have even caused you harm intentionally. And you need to acknowledge that. It's important to acknowledge that. And the more tricky situations sometime can be the ones where we know that person did not intend that, but the action still caused damage. Sometimes the thing is your own point of view- which was so limited at the time, it could not process the event in a nuanced way. And here's the thing. We don't need to blame anyone for this. We do not need to blame ourselves. We do not need to blame the other person. What we need to do is look at it like a scientist would; look at it objectively, look at it like code. Where is the issue? How can we look at that and learn from it?
And another thing I want to address is this, when you are on a healing journey, when you are on the reunification process, and you reunite with your body, it is not always a smooth or pleasant ride.
If you are expecting for everything to be fucking roses, when you are reuniting your repressed soul with your body, you've got to be fucking kidding me. (lol sorry, this is just so far from the truth for most of us who’ve moved through / OR ARE ACTIVELY MOVING THROUGH this process)
Of course we want to snap into place once we acknowledge our own trauma.
Wouldn’t it be amazing to see our own self-harm and just poof, it’s gone. This is a very unrealistic expectation.
Of course, do we want that? Yes! Do we want to do we want the punishment to stop? Yes, especially when we've been the ones perpetuating the self-harm /punishment
Don't we get a reward? don't we get a cookie for that?
If only! if only. No.
Typically, the reward we get is we get smack dab hit with all the years of the repressed emotions.
It is not pleasant.
There is a purging process as your body kicks out all of those things you locked away. You did not stop “The Feeling” You stopped the feeling. Does that make sense? The feeling, the sadness, the anger that was there. You just blocked your body from processing it by blanking it out.
The blanking it out can come in so many ways shapes or forms; distractions, eating disorders, alcoholism, substance abuse. These things are because of this. Those are not the problem. Those are the cover for the problem, which is feeling and feeling so overwhelmed that you use something else as a distraction to block out that memory, whatever it is. And so reuniting with your body is a process. It is difficult. and it's why not everyone does it.
So give yourself grace and let yourself know that if this is hard- it's hard!
It's hard to sit with the feeling when what you know is to numb it. It's hard to go there again to look at something that you haven't wanted to look at so much, you used the substance to cover it up. Or you fell into some sort of pursuit to cover it up.
and reuniting with your body and feeling for the first time is disorienting! and so many people want to present solutions and what I think is an important nuanced part of the conversation is knowing that it is a clunky ride!!
It is an arduous process for most of us to reunite the body and the spirit but here’s the thing - it is a stage you move through.
You are learning to be in your body again. Maybe for the first time, maybe for the second time, but when we hit these road blocks, when we hit these moments it's a choice point. We can continue our numbing behaviors, our distracting behaviors, or we can choose to sit through it, to work through the discomfort, to learn to listen to what the body has to say.
This is what human design taught me the most; we are here to be individuals We are here with our own unique purpose and design. You are not meant to be someone else. You are not meant to have someone else’s exact skill set. We are built with complementary skills, and something that happens to us in childhood is that the other people around us don't realize this about themselves either or the majority of people don't because this is just not taught that you are designed with a specific purpose.
You are designed with a unique skill set.
And that skill set is not going to be the same (most likely) as your family of origin and people around you. But we move into systems where we are expected to function and act the same. And this divide, this fight- we see it playing out in so many different arenas. Politically, we see it with people bringing up diversity - just simply bringing awareness to other ways of acting and being and seeing the outrage at the mere thought that other ways exist. We see people denying and being threatened by that option of diversity, by the mere suggestion that diversity exists! People are threatened by this. So, forgive yourself for being scared to be different. That's okay. It makes sense.
There are true threats in our society about embracing your uniqueness and the thing that is really interesting when we dive deeper into this is how the people that are most successful are the people that embrace their uniqueness.
So it is literally a double edged sword. That is why it is so confusing because you see the people that succeed the people that are at the top so to speak, in the hierarchy, if you believe in that, if you want to uphold that, those are the people (people who’ve fully embraced their humanity) Those are the people that have probably have accepted their uniqueness. And they haven't allowed their uniqueness to keep them tethered to what society expects.
Expectations are things that actively weigh us down and burden us and fill us with shame.
Yeah. It's a heavy burden. It's a heavy burden. Expectations are conditioning. This is what we have to work through.
And a lot of us are carrying around expectations that other people don't even realize that they've put on us. They don't realize that their words have the impact that they have because we're all living in our own reality in our own bubble. And this is the water that we swim in. I think that's where I want to cut it today. Thank you.
If you want to begin your Human Design journey or you are ready to talk to someone about this process for yourself - I’ve been facilitating this for myself and others for the last 5+ years.
My current offerings are here
30-min check in sessions are running for $50 off until the end of the month
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